avoid unhappy and unlucky


Born in Limerick, Ireland, in 1818, Marie Gilbert came to Paris in the
1840s to make her fortune as a dancer and performer. Taking the name
Lola Montez (her mother was of distant Spanish descent), she claimed to
be a flamenco dancer from Spain. By 1845 her career was languishing, and
to survive she became a courtesan-quickly one of the more successful in
Only one man could salvage Lola's dancing career: Alexandre Dujarier, owner of the newspaper with the largest circulation in France, and
also the newspaper's drama critic. She decided to woo and conquer hirn.
Investigating his habits, she discovered that he went riding every morning.
An excellent horsewoman herself, she rode out one moming and "accidentalIy"

 ran into hirn. Soon they were riding together every day. A few weeks
later Lola moved into his apartment.
For a while the two were happy together. With Dujarier's help, Lola
began to revive her dancing career. Despite the risk to his social standing,
Dujarier told friends he would marry her in the spring. (Lola had never
told hirn that she had eloped at age nineteen with an Englishman, and was
still iegally married.) Although Dujarier was deeply in love, rns life started
to slide downhill.
His fortunes in business changed and influential friends began to avoid
hirn. One night Dujarier was invited to a party, attended by some of the
wealthiest young men in Paris. Lola wanted to go too but he would not
allow it. They had their first quarrel, and Dujarier attended the party by
hirnself. There, hopelessly drunk, he insulted an influential drama critic,
Jean-Baptiste Rosemond de Beauvalion,

 perhaps because of something the
critic had said about Lola. The following morning Beauvalion challenged
hirn to a duel. Beauvalion was one of the best pistol shots in France. Dujarier tried to apologize, but the duel took place, and he was shot and
killed. Thus ended the life of one of the most promising young men of
Paris society. Devastated, Lola left Paris.
In 1846 Lola Montez found herself in Munich, where she decided to
woo and conquer King Ludwig of Bavaria. The best way to Ludwig, she
discovered, was through his aide-de-camp, Count Otto von Rechberg, a
man with a fondness for pretty girls. One day when the count was breakfasting at an outdoor cafe, Lola rode by on her horse, was "accidentally"
thrown from the saddle, and landed at Rechberg's feet. The count rushed
to help her and was enchanted. He promised to introduce her to Ludwig.
Rechberg arranged an audience with the king for Lola, but when she
arrived in the anteroom, she could hear the king saying he was too busy to
meet a favor-seeking stranger. Lola pushed aside the sentries and entered
his roorn anyway. In the process, the front of her dress somehow got tom
(perhaps by her, perhaps by one of the sentries), and to the astonishment of
all, most especially the king, her bare breasts were brazenly exposed. Lola
was granted her audience with Ludwig. Fifty-five hours later she made her
debut on the Bavarian stage; the reviews were terrible, but that did not stop
Ludwig from arranging more performances.
Tm: , 1 T .\\1) TiIL
A nul found ilself
('{Irried by a crow (0 Ihe
top of a tall campanile,
and by falling into a
creviee succeeded in
escaping its dread fate.
It then hesollght the
wall to shelter it, hy
appealing to il hy Ihe
grace of God, and
praising ir.v heiglzt, and
the beauty and noble
tone of its heils. "Ala.\',"
il went on, "as I havr
not heen ahle to drop
beneath the green
branches ofmy old
Father and to Ue in Ihe
fallow earth covered by
his fallen leaves, do
YOll, at least, not abandon m e. When I found
myself in the beak of
the cruel crow 1 made a
vow, that if 1 escaped I
would end my life in a
httle hole. "
At these words, the
wall, moved wilh
compassion, was
content 10 shelter the
nut in Ihe spot where it
had fallen. Within a
"horl time, the nut burst
open: lls roots' reached
in between Ihe creviccs
of Ihe stones and began
to push them apart; its
shoots pressed IIp
toward Ihe sky. They
soon rose above the
building, and as Ihe
twisled roors grew
thicker they began to
thrust ihe walls apart
and force ihe andenl
stones from iheir olt!
placcs. Then Ihe wall,
too late and in vain,
bewailed the cause of
its destruction, al/(l in
short time it fell in ruin.
1 452-J519
LAW 10 77
In his OH,'11 lillie Sirnon
TholllllS was II grellt
do('lor. I remelll/Jer Ihal
I ha!'peller! to lIleel him
olle day al Ihe hOflle of
a rich old ('onsumpliv<':
/{e lold his palient
when discus.\"inK ways
to cure him Ihal one
nzellns was 10 provide
occ{{sio/'l.\' for nIe to
ell}oy his comparlV:

('ould rherl fix his eyes
0// Ihe freshlless of my
countenlll1('e lind his
Ilwughls on the overflowing eheerf"lness
and viKor offny :\!oung
marllwor!; hy filling all
his seils es wirh Ihe
flower ofmy youlh his
condilion mighl
improve. Ile forgol 10
add thaI mine miRht
gel worse.
1 533- 1 592
Many Ihings are said 10
/Je inj('clious. Sieepiness C(ln he infectious,
and yawning as weIl. In
large-scale slraregy.
wh<'t/ Ihe enemy is
agilaler! allli shows a/1
inclillaliot/ 10 rush. r!o
nOI II/irul in the leasl.
Make a show oI
eOl1lplele calmt/ess. a/!{l
Ihe e//ell/ v will he laken
hv Ihis and will !>ecome
relaxed. You inji'cI Iheir
spiril. You can inj,'cI
Ihefll will! a carefree.
drunklike spiril. wirh
horedonl, or evetl
i\ HOO1\. O!· FIVE RIN(,S,
78 LAW 10
Ludwig was, in his own words

, "bewitched" by Lola. He started
to appear in public with her on his arm, and then he bought and furnished
an apartment for her on one of Munich's most fashionable boulevards. Although he had been known as a miser, and was not given to flights of
fancy, he started to shower Lola with gifts and to write poetry for her. Now
his favored mistress, she catapulted to farne and fortune ovemight.
Lola began to lose her sense of proportion. One day when she was out
riding, an elderly man rode ahead of her, a bit too slowly for her liking.
Unable to pass him, she began to slash hirn with her riding crop. On another occasion she took her dog, unleashed, out for a stroll. The dog attacked a passerby, but instead of helping the man get the dog away, she
whipped hirn with the leash. Incidents like this infuriated the stolid citizens
of Bavaria, but Ludwig stood by Lola and even had her naturalized as a
Bavarian citizen. The king's entourage tried to wake hirn to the dangers of
the affair, but those who criticized Lola were surnmarily fired.
While Bavarians who had loved their king now outwardly disrespected hirn, Lola was made a countess, had a new palace built for herself,
and began to dabble in politics, advising Ludwig on policy. She was the
most powernd force in the kingdom. Her influence in the king's cabinet
continued to grow, and she treated the other ministers with disdain. As a
result, riots broke out throughout the realm. A once peaceful land was virtually in the grip of civil war, and students everywhere were chanting,
''Raus mit Lola!"
By February of 1848, Ludwig was finally unable to withstand the pressure. With great sadness he ordered Lola to leave Bavaria immediately.
She left, but not until she was paid off. For the next five weeks the Bavarians' wrath was tumed against their formerly beloved king. In March of that
year he was forced to abdicate.

 Lola Montez moved to England. More than anything she needed respectability, and despite being married (she still had not arranged a divorce
from the Englishman she had wed years before), she set her sights on
George Trafford Heald, a promising young army officer who was the son of
an influential barrister. Although he was ten years younger than Lola, and
could have chosen a wife among the prettiest and wealthiest young girls of
English society, Heald fell under her speIl. They were married in 1849.
Soon arrested on the charge of bigamy, she skipped bail, and she and
Heald made their way to Spain. They quarreled horribly and on one occasion Lola slashed him with a knife. Finally, she drove him away. Retuming
to England, he found he had lost his position in the army. Ostracized from
English society, he moved to Portugal, where he lived in poverty. After a
few months his short life ended in a boating accident. 

A few years later the man who published Lola Montez's autobiography went bankrupt
In 1853 Lola moved to Califomia, where she met and married a man
named Pat Hull. Their relationship was as stormy as all the others, and she
left Hull for another man. He took to drink and fell into a deep depression
that lasted until he died, four years later, still a relatively young man.
At the age of forty-one, Lola gave away her clothes and finery and
turned to God. She toured America, lecturing on religious topics, dressed
in white and wearing a halolike white headgear. She died two years later, 

Lola Montez attracted men with her wiles, but her power over them went
beyond the sexual. It was through the force of her character that she kept
her lovers enthralled. Men were sucked into the maelstrom she churned up
around her. They feIt confused, upset, but the strength of the emotions she
stirred also made them feel more alive.
As is often the case with infection, the problems would only arise over
time. Lola's inherent instability would begin to get under her lovers' skin.
They would find themselves drawn into her problems, but their emotional
attachment to her would make them want to help her. This was the crucial
point of the disease--for Lola Montez could not be helped. Her problems
were too deep. Once the lover identified with them, he was lost. He would
find hirnself embroiled in quarreIs. The infection would spread to his family and friends, or, in the case of Ludwig, to an entire nation. The only solution would be to cut her off, or suffer an eventual collapse.
The infecting-character type is not restricted to women; it has nothing
to do with gender. It sterns from an inward instability that radiates outward,
drawing dis aster upon itself. There is almost a desire to destroy and unsettle. You could spend a lifetime studying the pathology of infecting characters, but don't waste your time--just learn the lesson. When you suspect
you are in the presence of an infector, don't argue, don't try to help, don't
pass the person on to your friends, or you will become enmeshed. Flee the
infector's presence or suffer the consequences.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look. He thinks too much ... .
I do not know the man I should avoid so soon as that spare Cassius ... .
Such men as he be never at heart 's ease whiles they behold a greater
than themselves, and therefore are they very dangerous.
Julius Caesar, William Shakespeare, 1 564-1 616
Those misfortunates among us who have been brought down by circumstances beyond their control deserve all the help and sympathy we can
give them. But there are others who are not born to misfortune or unhappiness, but who draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and unsettling effect on others. It would be a great thing if we could raise them up,
change their patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns that end
up getting inside and changing uso The reason is simple--

humans are extremely susceptible to the moods, emotions, and even the ways of thinking
of those with whom they spend their time.
The incurably unhappy and unstable have a particularly strong infectRegard nu J(){)/ish man
as cul/ured, IhOl/gh you
may reckon a gijted
man as wise; and
esteen1 no iRnorant
abstainer a {Flie ascetic.
Do nol cunsorl witlz
fools, especially Ihose
wh" consider Ihonselves wise. Ami be nol
self-satisfied witlz your
own ;gnorance. Lei
your ;nlercol/rse be
only wilh men of guod
repule;!or il is by suc/z
associalion Ihal men
l/zemselves al1a;n 10
good repute. Do YOl/
nol observe how
sesame-oi! ;.1' m;ngled
wilh roses or violels
and how, when it Iws
been for some lime ;n
llssociatiofl with roses
or viole!.\', it ceases to
be sesame-oi! ami ;.1'
cal/ed oi! of roses or oil
of violets?
LAW 10 79
80 LAW 10
ing power because their characters and emotions are so intense. They often
present themselves as victims, making it difficult, at first, to see their miseries as self-inflicted. Before you realize the real nature of their problems
you have been infected by them.
Understand this: In the game of power, the people you associate with
are critical. The risk of associating with infectors is that you will waste valuable time and energy trying to free yourself. Through a kind of guilt by association, you will also suffer in the eyes of others. Never underestimate the
dangers of infection.
There are many kinds of infector to be aware of, but one of the most
insidious is the sufferer from chronic dissatisfaction. Cassius, the Roman
conspirator againstJulius Caesar, had the discontent that comes from deep
envy. He simply could not endure the presence of anyone of greater talent.
Probably because Caesar sensed the man's interminable soumess, he
passed hirn up for the position of first praetorship, and gave the position to
Brutus instead. Cassius brooded and broorl.ed, his hatred for Caesar becoming pathological. Brutus himself, a devoted republican, disliked Caesar's dictatorship; had he had the patience to wait, he would have become
the first man in Rome after Caesar's death, and could have undone the evil
that the leader had wrought. 

But Cassius infected hirn with his own rancor,
bending his ear daily with tales of Caesar's evil. He finally won Brutus over
to the conspiracy. It was the beginning of a great tragedy. How many misfortunes could have been avoided had Brutus learned to fear the power of
There is only one solution to infection: quarantine. But by the time
you recognize the problem it is often too late. A Lola Montez overwhelms
you with her forceful personality. Cassius intrigues you with his confiding
nature and the depth of his feelings. How can you protect yourself against
such insidious viruses? The answer lies in judging people on the effects
they have on the world and not on the reasons they give for their probImage : A Virus. Unseen, it
lems. Infectors can be recognized by the misfortune they draw on thementers your pores without
selves, their turbulent past, their long line of broken relationships, their unwaming, spreading silently and
stable careers, and the very force of their character, which sweeps you up
slowly. Before you are aware of
and makes you lose your reason. Be forewarned by these signs of an infecthe infection, it is deep inside you.

 learn to see the discontent in their eye. Most important of all, do not
take pity. Do not enmesh yourself in trying to help. The infector will remain unchanged, but you will be unhinged.
The other side of infection is equally valid, and perhaps more readily
understood: There are people who attract happiness to themselves by their
good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence. They are a source of pleasure, and you must associate with them to share in the prosperity they draw
upon themselves.
This applies to more than good cheer and success: All positive qualities can infect uso Talleyrand had many strange and intimidating traits, but
most agreed that he surpassed all Frenchmen in graciousness, aristocratic
charm, and wit. Indeed he came from one of the oldest noble families in
the country, and despite his belief in democracy and the French Republic,
he retained his courtly manners. His contemporary Napoleon was in many
ways the opposite

--a peasant from Corsica, tacitum and ungracious, even
There was no one Napoleon admired more than Talleyrand. He envied his minister's way with people, his wit and his ability to c.l,arm
women, and as best he could, he kept Talleyrand around him, hoping to
soak up the culture he lacked. There is no doubt that Napoleon changed as
his rule cvntinued. Many of the rough edges were smoothed by his constaut association with Talleyrand.
Use the positive side of this emotional osmosis to advantage. If, for example, you are miserly by nature, you will never go beyond a certain limit;
only generous souls attain greatness. Associate with the generous, then,
and they will infect you, opening up everything that is tight and restricted
in you. If you are gloomy, gravitate to the cheerful. If you are prone to isolation, force yourself to befriend the gregarious. Never associate with those
who share your defects-they will reinforce everything that holds you
back. Only create associations with positive affinities. Make this a rule of
life and you will benefit more than from all the therapy in the world.

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